Let’s not talk. We’re no good at it. With you I’m useless with words. As if I somehow had to learn to speak all over again, as if the words I needed hadn’t been invented yet. We’re cowards. Come back to bed. At least there I feel I have you for a little. For a moment. For a catch of breath. You let go. You ache and tug. You rip my skin.
You’re almost not a man without your clothes. How do I explain it? You’re so much a child in my bed. Nothing but a big boy who needs to be held. I won’t let anyone hurt you. My pirate. My slender boy of a man.
After all these years.
I didn’t imagine it, did I? A Ganges, an eye of the storm. For a little. When we forgot ourselves, you tugged me, I leapt inside you and split you like an apple. Opened for the other to look at and not give back. Something wrenched itself loose. Your body doesn’t lie. It’s not silent like you.
You’re nude as a pearl. You’ve lost your train of smoke. You’re tender as rain. If I’d put you in my mouth you’d dissolve like snow.
You were ashamed to be so naked. Pulled back. But I saw you for what you were, when you opened yourself for me. When you were careless and let yourself through. I caught that catch of the breath. I’m not crazy."